


my friends are a different breed

by softirwin



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: M/M, again lots of bandter, i am using that term i do not care, i feel like i should warn u that there are a lot of mentions of daddy kink BUT no actual daddy kink, jst calum basically making fun of ashton and, well u will see
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-29
Updated: 2014-05-29
Packaged: 2018-01-27 01:57:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1710785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softirwin/pseuds/softirwin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“What’s happening?” Calum says, walking out into the living room.</p>
<p>“Luke and Ashton weren’t kissing,” Michael informs him. Calum nods.</p>
<p>“We weren’t,” Ashton says in what he hopes is a believable tone.</p>
<p>(they all make fun of each other a lot and luke's a bit of an exhibitionist)</p>
            </blockquote>





	my friends are a different breed

**Author's Note:**

> two fics in two days when i should be revising story of my life 
> 
> come talk to me on tumblr (irwinsvibes) i am exceptionally lonely

It’s been three months.

Three months of sneaking around, of being painfully hard  _all the time_ , of coy glances and sly kisses and shy grins. Three whole months. Ashton doesn’t think he’s ever held out this long.

And it’s not like it’s been made any easier by the fact Luke doesn’t want Cal or Mikey to know. Ashton can kind of see where he’s coming from –  _I want it to be our little secret, just me and you, something that, for once, not all members of the band know_ – but at the same time he just wants to be able to haul Luke up into his lap and kiss him whenever he wants, make him blush and giggle and moan and gasp. But it’s what Luke wants, so Ashton goes with it.

That doesn’t mean Luke doesn’t want it just as much as Ashton, though, doesn’t want to be pressed against a wall and be told  _you don’t know what you fucking do to me, fuck_  and hear his name hissed out in a gasp from Ashton’s lips. It doesn’t mean Luke stops acting up when they’re playing, walking over to Ashton and winking, biting his lip, doing all he can to make Ashton lose his rhythm, falter, make Calum stop the song and make fun of him for the rest of the practice time whilst Ashton tries to shift to make the snare cover his crotch. It doesn’t mean Luke’s ashamed of being with Ashton; not at all (particularly given he seems to try and turn Ashton on in the most public places possible). 

-

It’s a Wednesday afternoon, and Calum and Michael have gone to fetch some more supplies for the fridge. Luke took the opportunity to whine and bitch at Ashton until Ashton caved, kissed him hard and let Luke clamber on top of him, take his shirt off, grind their hips together and-

“What the fuck?” Calum sounds more amused than anything else. Ashton stills underneath Luke.

“What?” Michael says, coming in behind Calum. “Were they making out without us? Bastards.”

“We weren’t making out!” Luke says hotly. “Ashton’s got a weird scratch on his chest he wanted me to have a look at.”

“And that required you straddling him?” Calum says, eyebrows sky-high. Ashton hates him.

“Well, yeah,” Luke says, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “He’s ticklish, remember? Kept squealing and trying to kick me every time I touched him.”

“That  _is_  true,” Michael points out, dumping two plastic bags on the counter. “Remember that time I tried to hug him and he punched me in the face?”

“That wasn’t me being ticklish,” Ashton tells him, “that was just because I hate you.” Michael scowls at him.

“I want to feel Ashton’s chest,” Calum announces. “This band is built on the premise of sharing.”

“This band is built on the premise of my  _dick_ ,” Michael says.

“What, short-lived and disappointing?” Calum says, and Michael glares at him.

“You love my dick,” he says.

“Nobody loves your dick,” Luke tells Michael.

“You  _are_ a dick,” Michael says to Luke.

“This is too much,” Ashton says. “I don’t want to hear about dicks.”

“Why, would you rather see them?” Calum says, making as if to pull his pants down. Ashton shrieks and squirms under Luke, pretending to be afraid.

“Penis phobia!” he yells.

“That’s a lie,” Michael notes. “We’ve caught you wanking more times than the rest of us have been caught put together.”

“That’s because he’s an exhibitionist,” Calum says knowledgeably.

“You don’t know me,” Ashton accuses. “I’m a voyeur.”

“You’re into  _daddy kink_ ,” Luke says.

“Hey,” Ashton says, pointing a finger at him. “No shitting on kinks. Rule number one of this band.”

“Nobody sticks to the rules of the band,” Calum says.

“Rule number two of this band,” Michael says, “is to stick to the rules of the band. Therefore, Calum, you are out of this band.”

“Then so are you,” Calum says. “You made fun of me for being into dirty talk. That’s shitting on kinks.”

“No, it isn’t,” Michael argues. “I’m into dirty talk too.”

“Who isn’t?” Luke asks.

“Probably Ashton,” Calum says. “He’s only into weird things.”

“Daddy kink isn’t weird!” Ashton complains. “Plenty of people have daddy kinks.”

“Yeah, people who have to go and see shrinks to _sort out_  their daddy kinks,” Calum says, waving a hand dismissively. “Anyway, I’ll leave you guys to your weird chest inspections. I’ve got a fridge to stock.”

As he and Michael file out of the room, Luke throws Ashton a look, a  _fuck that was close_  look, and Ashton regrets dropping drama as early as he did because he is clearly  _amazing_  at acting.

-

(“’Something on Ashton’s chest’?” Ashton asks Luke later, when Luke’s laying on top of him, still breathing erratically.

“I didn’t see you trying to come up with an excuse,” Luke murmurs.

“You weren’t even trying to hide us,” Ashton says accusingly. Luke buries his face in the crook of Ashton’s neck but says nothing.)

-

It’s barely a week before they’re caught again, and Ashton’s pretty sure Luke has a bit of an exhibitionist kink he’s never told anyone about.

They’re properly kissing now, although it’s pretty chaste; just soft, gentle kisses that kind of show how much they mean to each other but kind of don’t.

“Are you two kissing?” Michael says, and Luke and Ashton spring apart.

“Why would I kiss Luke, of all people?” Ashton says.

“That’s true,” Michael says complacently. “I mean, if you’re in a band with me, why Luke?”

“What’s happening?” Calum says, walking out into the living room.

“Luke and Ashton weren’t kissing,” Michael informs him. Calum nods.

“We weren’t,” Ashton says in what he hopes is a believable tone.

“Why aren’t you sharing your kisses?” Calum wants to know.

“Because you smell of New Zealand,” Ashton retorts. Calum pouts.

“Kiss me,” he says.

“No,” Michael says.

“I wasn’t asking you,” Calum says.

“I wasn’t talking to you,” Michael says.

“What, you have imaginary friends now?” Calum scoffs. Michael glowers at him.

“No,” he says, and he stalks out of the room.

“You suck,” Ashton informs Calum. “You’ve upset him.”

“I haven’t,” Calum says, but he doesn’t sound sure.

“Yes, you have,” Ashton says. “Go give him a handjob or something. That should cheer him up.” Calum pulls a face.

“Dicks are  _gross_ ,” he mutters, but he walks off in the direction Michael had left in anyway. Ashton turns to Luke with his eyebrows raised, pulling a  _you’re the one who wants to keep this secret so at least make a bit of an effort to keep it fucking secret_ face, but Luke just grins up at him and pulls him in for another kiss.

And, like, Ashton’s strong and manly and wilful and everything, but who can resist Luke Hemmings?

-

The third time it happens, Ashton’s  _certain_  Luke has an exhibitionist kink he’s never told anyone about.

“Why am I always finding you two in compromising positions?” Calum wonders, finding them both shirtless (and pant-less, but the duvet hides that), snuggling in Ashton’s bed.

“Luke has an exhibitionist kink,” Ashton says, and when Luke doesn’t deny it everything suddenly makes sense.

“Nice try, kiddo,” Calum says. Ashton hates him.

“I’m older than you,” Ashton reminds him.

“Not mentally,” Calum mutters, and then; “Is Luke really an exhibitionist?”

“Why does it interest you so much?” Luke wants to know. “Want to get off in front of me?”

“If you’re offering,” Calum shrugs, and Luke huffs out a laugh against Ashton’s shoulder.

“I can’t believe you’ve never told us you’re an exhibitionist before,” Ashton says, twisting to try and look at Luke over his shoulder. Luke shrugs, trying to bury his face in Ashton’s bare shoulder before his blush becomes obvious. He’s an idiot; Ashton can _feel_ it.

“It’s never come up before,” Luke mumbles.

“What’s never come up before?” Michael asks, wandering into the room. “Calum’s dick? Because it has, it’s just too small to see.”

“Fuck you,” Calum says, but he holds his arms open for Michael to come into anyway. “Luke’s an exhibitionist.”

“Well, yeah,” Michael says, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, nuzzling into Calum’s neck.

“What?” Ashton’s enraged. “How does Michael know and not me?”

“I’ve been subjected to his inability to lock doors whilst masturbating more than you have,” Michael says grimly. “I’ve seen his porn preferences.”

“Tell me more,” Calum says.

“Exhibitionism, dirty talk, voyeurism, daddy kink-“

“Hold up,” Calum says. “Daddy kink?”

“Daddy kink?” Ashton says.

“Daddy kink,” Michael confirms, and a huge grin spreads across Calum’s face.

“That’s what they’re doing,” he tells Michael. “Every time we find them. They’re discussing their endless love for daddy kink.”

“That’s disgusting,” Ashton says, “why would we do that?”

“Daddy kink’s disgusting,” Calum shoots back.

“Out of the band!” Luke yells.

“I quit like, two hours ago!” Calum shouts.

“That was over Vegemite!” Michael says. “You can’t quit over food!”

“I can and I did!” Calum says. “So now I’m free to shit on daddy kink as much as I want.”

“I’ll shit on your kinks,” Ashton says, mock-threateningly. “BDSM, maybe.”

“Hey,” Calum says, pointing a finger at Ashton. “It’s an art form.”

“I’m sure that’s exactly what Van Gogh thought,” Luke mutters.

“I hate this kid,” Calum announces. “Why do we keep him in the band? He never talks, and when he does, it’s only to talk shit about me.”

“He sings better than any of us,” Michael points out. “And he plays guitar like a god. And he’s got the cutest little laugh. And his lip ring is hot as fuck. And his dimple is adorable. And his legs are gorgeous.”

“Excuse me?” Ashton says. “Calum has the nicest thighs.”

“But Luke has the nicest legs overall,” Michael says.

“We have not yet had a band vote on overall leggage,” Ashton says. “Band vote. Calum or Luke for best legs?”

“Calum,” Calum says.

“Calum,” Michael says.

“Luke,” Ashton disagrees.

“Me,” Luke says.

“My vote counts twice because I’m older than all of you,” Ashton says. “So that’s it. Luke has the best overall legs in the band.”

“My vote counts four times because my dick’s four times as long as yours,” Calum says.

“More like you’re four times as much of a dick,” Luke says, and Calum makes a noise of anger.

“That’s  _exactly_ what I’m talking about!” he says. “Only to talk shit about me! Only _ever_ to talk shit about me!”

“That’s not true,” Michael says consolingly. “Sometimes he talks shit about Gerard Way.”

“I’m leaving this band,” Calum announces.

“I thought you’d already quit,” Ashton says.

“I’m leaving and I’m taking the Vegemite with me,” Calum says. 

-

When they tell Calum and Michael, Ashton really doesn’t think they ought to have bothered at all. It was clear Calum and Michael already knew.

“You’re fucking?” Calum says, not looking up from his phone. “Great.”

“A deaf, blind ladybird could have worked that out,” Michael deadpans, eyes not leaving Calum’s phone either.

“This was such a huge announcement to make,” Ashton says. “Luke made me wait  _months_.”

“I think after finding you grinding on each other, making out and whatever else you were doing we figured it out for ourselves,” Calum says primly. “We’re not stupid.” Luke snorts.

“Debatable,” he says, and Ashton threads his fingers through Luke’s just because he can now.

“I hate you,” Calum says.

“ _I_  don’t,” Ashton says.

“Well, isn’t that just wonderful?” Michael mumbles. “Go and fuck in a field of daisies, or something.”

“Is that how you woo the ladies?” Ashton asks.

“Or lads,” Michael says absent-mindedly.

“Since when are you into guys?” Luke asks.

“Since I saw you two making out and thought it was hot,” Michael says. Calum throws a mock-angry glare at Luke.

“Fucking exhibitionists,” he mutters. Luke flips him off.

“Your first  _date_  was a boy,” Michael reminds Calum.

“By  _accident_ ,” Calum says crossly. “How was I to know that a _blind date_ called Alex was a boy, not a girl?”

“You still made out with him,” Ashton points out.

“Better him than you,” Calum snipes.

“Hey,” Luke says defensively. “I’ll be mean to you again.”

“I’ll shit on daddy kink,” Calum warns. Michael chuckles, and Ashton rounds on him.

“What?” he demands. Michael grins.

“Nothing, just,” he says. He shrugs. “If Calum’s so keen to shit on daddy kink, why does he have a magazine called  _Daddy’s Boys_  under his bed?”

“Why were you going through my stuff?!” Calum shrieks, jumping up from the sofa and onto Michael, who’s laughing too much to fight Calum off.

“Why were you shitting on your  _own kink_?” Michael asks between giggles.

“You fucking bastard!” Calum yells, grabbing a cushion and battering Michael with it. Michael screams, holds his arms up in protest and begs for mercy. Calum throws in a good few more hits with the cushion before pinning Michael down, straddling him to keep him from squirming, holding it above his face in a threatening manner.

“I will not hesitate to suffocate you,” Calum says, “unless you promise never to mention that again.”

“Okay, okay,” Michael says. “I’ll be a good boy.  _Daddy_.” He tacks it on at the end, blinking up at Calum, and Ashton grits his teeth, ignores the change in atmosphere as best he can, the way Luke’s fingers suddenly tighten in his own.

But then again-

“Fuck it,” he whispers fiercely, grabbing Luke and shoving him up against the nearest wall.

This all started because of Luke’s stupid exhibitionism, anyway.

 


End file.
